


Lessons, Leisons

by sortablue



Series: Weekly Writes [9]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Accepting Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Roman Angst, We love torturing the happy boi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-30 22:02:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19412284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sortablue/pseuds/sortablue
Summary: Roman never bothered to analyze his feelings around Anxiety too deeply. Not until he disappeared. And boy, when he did... it sure hurt.But Virgil knows what it's like, putting all the guilt on yourself like that. He's not about to let Roman suffer like he did.





	Lessons, Leisons

**Author's Note:**

> Set around Accepting Anxiety  
> Week 10

Roman hated Virgil.

He hated his unkempt hair, his odd makeup, his gloomy outlook, his nervous tendencies.

He hated the way Virgil sneered and scoffed at his ideas, hated the way he rolled his eyes at Patton’s attempts to soften the hurt, hated the way he countered Roman’s exuberance and the way he disregarded Logan’s rationality.

And then.

And then Virgil left, and Roman figured- figured that it was just another annoying thing he didn’t have to put up with anymore.

_“Hm. Do you honestly think it is necessary to have him here?”_

_“To offer his mopey dopey input- I… I don’t like ‘im.”_

And then Virgil left, and despite the overwhelming feeling of satisfaction and blasé, he wondered. Underneath the relief was something heavy, something right and fluttering and-

_“Shouldn’t a lack of fear be a good thing?”_

And Roman played it off. Played it off, because Anxiety was _bad_ , he’d always said so, he’d always pushed that point, because it was true, except-

_“If Anxiety is gone, what do we have to lose?”_

Except Roman never bothered to understand.

But that was before Anxiety stopped coming down to the commons, before he withdrew into himself.

Before he stopped responding to summons, not even to Patton’s.

_“We got on just fine without him in the first two sanders sides videos.”_

But it was never about the videos.

Patton convinced them to go find Virgil, and something clamped right around his heart and Roman decided it must be irritation.

But as Virgil talked, and talked, and the conversation volleyed between the others, the noose got tighter and tighter and tighter-

Virgil’s room was dark, and, and despite the homey, almost cute touches he could see dotted around-

(The posters, the cartoony curtains, the pillow… suddenly anxiety was more than just a face with a grim speech bubble. He was a person with real emotions and wants and the noose got tighter, tighter, tighter.)

_“I actually think you guys were right… to not want me around.”_

_“I’ve always aimed to protect you.”_

Roman thought he might just cry.

_“A raisin-oatmeal cookie. No-one wants that!”_

And the longer he stayed, the harder it was to keep a grip on all the messy emotions at war inside him.

And Thomas began talking.

Roman could see the fragile hope that began to form on Anxiety’s- no, on Virgil’s face. He could see the way he hid a small smile as Thomas finished, as he thanked him.

And finally, the noose snapped, and words began spilling out of his mouth.

“I’m so sorry…” Roman whispered to the cold air of his room.

“Roman?”

Roman flinched.

He didn’t reply. As he shifted, he realized his hands had entangled themselves into his hair.

At the second, soft knock on his door, he gripped them tighter, letting the pain drag him away.

“Roman?”

Virgil’s voice was more worried now, his knocks more insistent as Roman choked on his words.

“Roman, I’m coming in.”

Roman tried to sit up, tried to say no, wanted to erase the past thirty minutes and pretend he’d never been so terrible to Virgil.

But there was no erasing the past.

Roman’s door opened in a rush and in no time Virgil was crouched in front of him, gently rubbing one hand on his shoulder as the other slowly unfurled his hands from his hair.

“Virgil?” Roman croaked.

Virgil hummed, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to the top of Roman’s head.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“I was- I was so- I was horrible to you, because of me you- you left and you thought so little of yourself when really- really, you’re amazing. And beautiful, and snarky, and so sarcastically funny, and-“

“Roman.” Virgil said softly.

Roman shook his head, eyes squeezed shit against the real world.

“Roman, c’mon, open up, yeah?”

Roman opened one eye, hesitantly looking up at Virgil.

“That was ages ago. I understand. You didn’t know. What matters is now. You guys are the best family I could have asked for. I love you.”

“And you- you forgive me?”

“I never blamed you.”

Roman cracked a small, broken smile, leaning his forehead against Virgil’s.

“Promise?”

“Of course.”

 _“You make us better.”_ Roman had said. But really, what he’d meant was, “ _I love you.”_


End file.
